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By Rose Mailer. After almost two years of abstinence, I posted a new Craigslist ad this week. The ad was for a new roommate, as my current one is moving. But, the experience reminded me exactly what I found so appealing about the free bulletin-board service during the years I developed a serious addiction to carefully drafting and posting. Not a hook-up, not a cheap fling — a boyfriend.

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You need a hook, a simple concept that will reel the right element in. Tricks like that drew in gentlemen who seemed likely candidates for handling my particular kind of crazy. Reading from s from strangers — strangers who wanted to meet me! And, one of my best friends, Melinda, was in the same boat — the two of us ended up enabling each other into ever more outrageous anonymous taunts to Internet users, just daring them to us. During that period, we achieved the greatest coup one could ever imagine coup-ing when using Craigslist to hunt down men.

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Melinda and I collaborated one day on an ad based on a real-life problem I was facing — I had an upcoming family reunion, and no boyfriend to prove to my extended relations that I was just as successful as Engaged Cousin Allie. There was something profoundly ridiculous about it, the fact that someone whose job it was to look good on television would be on Craigslist, and reply to an ad so insanely worded. In the end, I pushed too hard, and our first date never ended up happening.

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But, the possibilities that experience opened up kept me hooked for years to come. Anyone could be reading your ad.

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Including the right one. The zombie invasion ad, one of my first, lead to three months with Jeff, a sweet-natured production assistant whom I forgave for his atrocious taste in comic-book writers, mostly because our TV favourites were properly aligned. At that point, I was so sexually inexperienced that media preferences were all I had to judge potential compatibility on. Dumping him was the first really mature relationship decision I ever made, one that made me feel like a proper grown-up for the first time.

Not to say that my 20s have been a bastion of maturity. A few years after Jeff and the zombies, I found myself stuck between a few different men.

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One in particular seemed to be using my feelings for him as a petri dish for experiments in cruelty, and, tired of being played, I decided I needed to feel like a player. So, I asked Craigslist if anyone wanted to come over to my house and drink a bottle of wine with me. My friends figured that really nerdy guys had been too intimidated to respond.

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But, I did meet Michael, a sweet giant of a guy who sent a witty reply and equally witty follow-ups. After a first date in a public place, I invited him to my place for a night of Star Trek movies and the promised wine.

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The wine, we finished. What's always a defining factor of my Craigslist use is this: I never respond to more than one or two replies, picking out the respondees who trigger just the right feeling. This kind of made me an asshole, I suspect, someone who added to the heaps of rejection men experience across all dating sites. And, it made a romantic of me, oddly enough — a believer in fate as well as my own judgment, with an ability to read some text and get a good sense of the person who wrote it.

It had never happened to me before in person, that kind of instantaneous recognition.


I was still sleeping with Michael then, as casually as when we first began four months earlier. I liked him well enough, but the fact that he was also a writer meant that our dates frequently devolved into shop talk, and the sex was never that exciting. Over a year and a half later, Charles and I are still together.

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In my single days, Craigslist represented possibility. With the control and freedom made possible by the bulletin board, I was able to reach out to what felt like the entire world, asking just one person out there to like me. It never worked out with any of my Craigslist men; in the end, too many neuroses and not enough chemistry eventually cured me of my addiction.

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But, for teaching me about the opposite sex, about how to woo and be wooed, about the value of having confidence in myself, I owe all those men a huge debt. Even the ones who sent pictures of their dicks. Even them. After getting back from a trip, a friend of mine learned that her boyfriend had gone to a strip club and gotten a lap dance, which felt like a clear crossi.

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Sex with Cancer has been created by two artists and. My friend Jemma and I decided long ago via WhatsApp message that autumn is the only truly sexy season. Welcome to Summer Of Love: a weekly column about how people are getting back into the dating game and getting it on post-lockdown. I was 25 years old.

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Beyond diagnosis, surgery, and treatmen. I am engaged, though, somehow. ZIP: 74352 74364

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